It started wi' a lyric, no' a plan
I never set oot tae make a song. I run a comedy channel, no' a record label. But the idea o' 'we'll no' be telt', that stubborn Scottish streak where naebody alive can tell ye tae calm doon, sit doon, or behave, kept rattling aboot ma heid like a marble in a biscuit tin. So I did whit ye dae wi' any daft idea at midnight: I typed it intae ma phone an' hoped it'd still be good in the morning. It was.
The bones o' it were mine. The heart o' it was mine. Whit I didnae have was the time or the studio tae turn a scribbled lyric intae a finished, released track. That's where the daftness really began.
Then I got masel some robot back-up
Here's the bit folk find interesting, an' I'm no' gonnae pretend otherwise: I roped in four different AI assistants tae help shape the song. No' tae write it fae scratch, mind, the words an' the daft Scottish soul o' it were already mine. The AIs were mair like four very patient pals that helped me tidy the hoose, no' build it.
Each one was good at somethin' different, so I'd fling ma rough lyrics at them, get ideas back, keep the belters an' bin the mince. Four tireless helpers that never once telt me tae calm doon. For a song literally cried 'We'll No' Be Telt', that felt about right.
The important bit: every final call was mine. The AIs did the heavy lifting, but the taste, the patter, the 'naw, a real Scot wouldnae say it like that', that was aw me. A jyner uses power tools an' still builds the table himsel. Same idea.
Grok did the animation
A song needs a video, an' I cannae animate tae save masel, ma stick men look like they've had a rough night. So Grok handled the animation, turnin' the track intae somethin' ye can actually sit an' watch. That's the secret o' bein' a wan-man band: ye either learn tae dae absolutely everything, or ye find tools that let ye punch well above yer weight. Guess which wan I picked.
DistroKid took it tae the world
Once the track an' video were done, DistroKid fired it oot tae Spotify, Apple Music an' YouTube. Nae glamour in that step, naebody posts a wee reel aboot fillin' in release forms, but it's the bit that turns 'a song sittin' on ma laptop' intae 'a song yer auntie in Canada can stream'. Worth it.
The full track an' video are aw in the one place, plus every streaming link. First comments reckon it should be Scotland's new national anthem. I'll let ye be the judge.
Away tae the music page →Why I'm being honest aboot the AI
Some folk hide the fact they use AI like it's a dark secret. No' me. The idea, the lyrics, the Scottish soul o' the thing, that's human, that's me, sittin' in ma hoose bein' stubborn. The AIs just helped a wan-man band get it oot ma heid an' intae the world at a speed I could never manage alone. That's no' cheatin'. That's just a lad usin' every tool in the shed tae build somethin' he's dead proud o'.
An' if the result is a track that makes folk grin an' shout "WE'LL NO' BE TELT" back at their phones? Then it worked, however it got made.
Want mair Scottish patter in yer pocket? The Whit Did Ye Say? app has 1,900+ words wi' real voice audio, a translator, quizzes an' the lot. Free on iOS an' Android.
