Dinnae ken whit yer Scottish pals are oan aboot?
I've got ye sorted, pal.
Part dictionary, part translator, part comedy quiz, part insult machine, part culture guide. 1,900+ words and phrases with 4,800+ audio clips said proper, and it's free on iOS an' Android.
Christmas, sorted
Five daft wee books, aw on Amazon in time for Christmas. Cheaper than a bottle, funnier than socks, an' naebody's getting another tartan tin ae shortbread on my watch.
24 days fae the tree goin' up tae the New Year steak pie.
Get it on Amazon
Ye'll hear yer ain mother oan every page. Ye've been warned.
Get it on Amazon
123 belters, graded fae mild tae pure gallus.
Get it on AmazonMair than a wee dictionary
The Scottish game show whaur ye battle up the money ladder wi' The Patter Merchant on yer back. Can ye reach the hunner quid?
Play Now
Share The Banter
123 authentic Scottish insults, every wan said oot loud. Pick yer favourite, send it, and give yer pals a laugh. Pure comedy gold.
Send an Insult →Everything ye need tae understand the Scots, have a laugh, and learn a thing or two.
A massive dictionary of Scottish words, slang, phrases, expressions and survival lines, all supported by real audio. Frae "braw" tae "wheesht", I've got the lot.
Browse the Dictionary →Type in any of 50+ languages and I'll fire it back in pure Scottish patter. Nae bother whit language ye start wi'.
Hear every word, sentence, insult, and phrase spoken aloud with authentic Scottish pronunciation. Nae point learning if ye cannae say it right, eh?
A belter collection of 123 Scottish insults, every wan said oot loud. Shareable wi' yer pals. Pure comedy gold, so it is.
The same Scottish words fae the app, noo on proper quality tees. Dictionary definitions, lifestyle photography, free UK delivery over £35.
Scottish Gifts
I've picked oot the only Scottish gifts worth buying, because somebody had tae stop folk buying those wee tartan tins ae shortbread. Proper picks fae a real Scot.
See the Gift Guide →
Planning a Trip
Dinnae worry. I've written the only Scotland trip guide that'll actually help ye. Nae tourist waffle, nae stock photos ae bagpipers. Just proper advice fae a real Scot.
Get Yer Trip Sorted →
20 belters free the day, an' nae spam, just pure Scottish patter every Tuesday.
Whether ye're a tourist trying tae understand the locals, a Scot wanting tae share yer patter wi' the world, or just someone who loves a good laugh, this app is fur you. Wi' 1,900+ words and phrases, 4,800+ audio recordings, 4 Scottish Packs, 2 quiz modes, and a Scottish slang translator for 50+ languages. There's nae app like it.
Free tae download. Go Pro inside the app for nae ads and 20% off packs, and help keep the whole thing going.
"If ye cannae understand them, join them."Download Free on iOS & Android
| Ancient Scottish Wisdom (probably)
Whaur tae next?
Everything on the site, all in the one place. Nae mair losing yer favourite bits.
