The app teaches ye the slang. The books take ye the whole way. Insults wi' instructions, the words tae survive Scotland, myths tae keep ye up at night, a Christmas survival guide, an' every daft thing yer maw ever said. Aw written, drawn an' published by me, an' aw live on Amazon in paperback an' Kindle.
Belters, bams an' bawbags, wi' the meanins spelt oot
123 proper Scottish insults, each wan explained: how tae say it, whit it actually means, an' when tae let it fly. Graded fae mild tae pure gallus, so ye can work yer way up withoot startin' a war at the family dinner. It is a dictionary. It is also a loaded weapon.
The words tae get ye through Scotland alive
131 words tae stop ye lookin' like a lost tourist. Fae 'braw' tae 'bahookie', every wan explained wi' how tae say it an' when tae use it. Read it afore ye come up, or read it efter ye've already caused offence. Yer call.
Kelpies, bogles an' the things that wait in the Scottish dark
36 tales fae the darker corners o' Scotland, in full colour. Kelpies that drag ye under, bogles at the fit o' the gairden, an' the each-uisge ye'll wish ye'd never read aboot. Lovely bedtime readin', if ye fancy never sleepin' again.
From the tree goin' up tae the New Year steak pie
An advent countdown, Scottish style. 24 days fae the tree goin' up tae the New Year steak pie, plus 12 bonus bits, tae get ye through the festive season wi' yer sanity roughly intact. The selection box is included. Emotionally.
The Scottish mother tongue, translated
80 things every Scottish maw has said, translated for the record. "Are ye gaun oot dressed like THAT?" an' aw the rest, delivered exactly the way ye heard them growin' up. Ye'll hear yer ain mother oan every single page. Ye've been warned.
Same patter as the app, the website an' the channel. Nae ghostwriters, nae filler, nae padding tae hit a page count. Hand-built in Scotland. Nae office, nae interns, just me an' the kettle. 🏴