Christmas is coming. So is their roasting.

Get Roasted by a Scot

Gie me three daft things yer pal does. I'll roast them in a 60 to 90 second video they'll never live doon.

Roast Yer Pal · £15

Order by 18 Dec for Christmas · Watch a sample first

Family Friendly heat. Tam’s made up. Yer da isnae.

Three daft things.
One proper roasting.

£15the lot

Two minutes tae fill in. I’ll dae the rest, and they’ll never live it doon.

Roast Yer Pal · £15

Secure checkout through Shopify

Order by 18 Dec for Christmas. Left it late? The rush gets it tae ye by the 23rd if ye order by the 21st.

Within 5 daysUsually a lot quicker
Left it late?Skip the queue, +£8. With ye in 48 hours
  • Voiced by The Patter Merchant
  • Watched by me before it goes oot

How it works

  1. 1

    Spill the beans

    Tell me three daft things yer pal does. A number, a daft purchase or a proper story makes it even funnier.

    What Gary's sister typed
    1. Spent £400 on a road bike. Rides it once a year.
    2. Makes the same spag bol every Sunday.
    3. Diet starts Monday. Every Monday since 2019.

    That's it. That's the whole form.

  2. 2

    I make the roast

    The Patter Merchant voices it, and I watch every single one before it goes anywhere. Nae robot sends it straight oot.

  3. 3

    Ye get the video

    A private link in yer inbox. Save it, then drop it straight intae the group chat and stand well back.

Pick yer heat

Family Friendly

Clean as a whistle

Safe for the family WhatsApp and yer granny's tablet. Still stings.

“Tam keeps his hoose at fourteen degrees. Tae Tam, nineteen’s Benidorm.”
Brutal

Nae mercy

A proper Scottish roast, swearing an' a'. Sex, drugs and rock and roll? That's Brutal only. They'll feel it.

“The only commitment Gary’s ever kept is tae a jar o’ sauce.”

Questions

How much?

£15. Aboot the price of a card and a pint, and a lot funnier than both.

How fast do I get it?

Within 5 days, and usually a lot quicker than that. Left it tae the last minute? Tick “Skip the queue” for £8 and it’s with ye within 48 hours.

Who's the voice?

The Patter Merchant. The same dry Scottish voice that hosts the Wha Wants Tae No' Be Skint? quiz, an' the main man behind Whit Did Ye Say? Every roast is made by me, an’ I watch every one before it goes oot.

What can I roast them for?

Their habits, their daft purchases, their questionable life choices. Never what they cannae help: health, race, religion or anything like that. It's banter, no' bullying.

Can I roast anybody?

Adults only, 18 and ower. Only the person getting roasted and the person booking it get named.

Where can I send it?

Anywhere. Ye get a private link tae download it. It's a wee file, so it drops straight intae WhatsApp, Insta, or the big screen at the party.

How do I get hold o' ye?

Email hello@whitdidyesay.com, or join my Discord and DM me. I’ve always got it open.

Can I order fae ootside Scotland?

Aye. Roasts are open worldwide. Yer pal doesnae need tae be Scottish tae get roasted like one.

Gie me a shout

Questions before ye order, or a problem wi’ yer roast? I’m a real person and I answer masel. Email me, or come say hello on Discord.

hello@whitdidyesay.com DM me on Discord

On Discord, join the server then DM me. Keep yer order details in the DM, no’ the public chat.

If ye cannae roast them yersel, get a Scot tae dae it.

Roast Yer Pal · £15

Questions? hello@whitdidyesay.com or Discord